Sarah and Elizabeth over the summer

Madison and Mommy

back in Woosta

Thanksgiving break has come and gone ... not to mention a total of 14hrs travel time! AH! But the break was well deserved, needed, and enjoyable. Thanksgiving was fun ... now that there's 3 little cousins! I'll post some of the pictures soon, along with my plate! We had it at our house, like always ... but no garduna! Very very upsetting ... Saturday Felicia and I went to nyc for a Knicks game and an early dinner. It was kids day at Madison Square Garden, so lots of kiddy things going on during half-time. Overall it was a fun day. Also let me realize alot of things, which will hopefully make things alot easier. I <3 facebook! Now back in Worcester, back in school, back to work! Oh the fun.

Famous?

The frontpage of the Business section in the Worcester Telegram and Gazette ... wow! http://www.gdc.wpi.edu/~blaze/article.html Here's a mirror of the article about the new Interactive Media and Game Development (IMGD) major at WPI. Being the head of the Game Development Club at WPI, Chris and I were interviewed for our take on the major. Sweet! So, one more day and then Thanksgiving break! Gonna be a nice break from the school craziness; seeing old friends, turkey, and a knicks game with felicia! But, one more night of school work =(

Mark the day ...

It's snowing in Worcester, and probably won't stop until April

I alone ...

The little things still get to me. Seeing the relationship status in their facebook pages gave me that same alone feeling I've gotten to know so well. I'm so happy I'm so involved during the day, I'd feel like this all the time. Something still doesn't sit right with me. I remember how we acted and felt around eachother, and I know how we feel and act now ... and nothing is different. But, it wouldn't work out right now. I can't understand that. I find closure in things I can understand. Or maybe I don't want closure, so I'm not letting myself understand. This is why CS majors aren't allowed to analyze the human psyche :-P If a relationship isn't *real*, what's the point? What does love mean to 2 people? Should it mean the same thing? What if it doesn't? What doesn commitment mean? Can you not be ready for it, or is it some other issue? Can one *relationship* be based on commitment while another one isn't? Can you love someone without commitment? All these questions confuse me and make anny type of happiness hard. I know you read this ... both of you. Gino, an extremely amazing girl loves you. If you don't wake up every morning feeling like the luckiest person in the world, you're doing something wrong. She's a princess and deserves the best. Also, I love her and know she deserves the best plus some, and I also trust her judgement. Congradulations on being the best. So, this can't be the only thing in my life, right? True, and it's not the only thing that's fucked up either. The GDC is taking so much work to get back on track, and so many people are just turning into dead weight. Theta Chi has problems that I can't even get into. And in all this, I've gotta put school first ... and I have. But once I have an ounce of free time, all this comes as one big punch to the nose. Yes, the secret is out. I stay busy to forget about everything else. It's been alot of months of this and the wear is starting to show. END_OF_FILE

... string of emotions

I look at her pictures. I read her words. I worry and dream about her. I miss her and I miss her missing me ... Almost 3 years ... I've given all that time to treating her like a princess ... and rightfully so. She is, and she makes me feel so great when I'm with her. But I'm not sure she loves me anymore ... but I know I can never stop. I can't stop because I've got this constant pit ... something missing ... and I want it back. They are together right now, and it's almost haunting. I dream, sometimes daydream, about things that made us happy ... but it's not me, and it hurts. But, I guess she is happy, and all-in-all that's all I want for her. So, I guess the only think I can do is tip my hat and walk away. Alright, before I go crazy, I'm going to go watch something southpark related ... we always enjoyed that. // broken